The Many Faces of Grief and Loss

The Many Faces of Grief and Loss
by Maurice Turmel PhD

Grief and loss is a broad category that encompasses death and dying, grief recovery, grief resources and every type of loss imaginable. From losing a loved one to losing your job, grief and loss includes a variety of dimensions that affect each and every one of us in our daily lives.

The predominant category is loss of a loved one, of course. Death is the first thing that comes to mind when grief and loss are being discussed. But this particular experience can also emerge when we breakup with a lover, lose a pet or get fired from our employment. When the grief experience strikes, recovery is what preoccupies us the most.

We now understand that losing a loved one is only one aspect of grief and loss. Relationship breakups, divorce, loss of the family pet, getting fired and losing a business are all causes that generate the grief and loss experience. Such losses are rarely associated with the main grieving category, but in fact, they do share many common denominators as the primary experience of death of a loved one.

What is central to this article is that grief and loss affects us in almost every aspect of our lives. We recoil over the loss of a job. We fall into depression over the loss of our home. We grieve the death of our pets. We agonize over a recent divorce. And of course, we cry over the loss of loved ones.

What is our point here with this foray into the multiple dimensions of grief and loss? We are dealing with an emotional crisis and a feeling based wound. We experience sadness, depression and hurt. Feeling lost and afraid is common. Anger usually arrives first, till we discover what's underneath, and pain is what we wish to avoid, initially. All such reactions are quite typical with the experience of grief and loss.

Grief and loss, as a life experience, emerges in many aspects of our lives. Learning to relieve ourselves of stress via relevant grief recovery programs can have far reaching benefits. Recovering our usual bounce and drive is a worthy goal and significant benefit in grief recovery. Whatever we learn about dealing with grief and loss can be applied across its many dimensions and occurences.

The cycle of life includes gaining, losing and gaining again. For example, when a snake crawls into the tall grass to shed its old skin, it's because the new is emerging from underneath and pressing for release. Losses are typically categorized as devastating when, in fact, they are often a prelude to something better. Learning to let go, no matter what the cicumstances is a valuable life lesson.

Our biggest loss is always the death of a loved one. On a well known stress scale, this type of loss is just ahead of divorce and moving, two more examples of grief and loss. Learning to manage our daily losses, big and small, can well equip us for dealing with the big one when it inevitably strikes. A good grief resource becomes our most valuable guide during such circumstances and will lead us toward a healthy recovery.

Recovery from grief and loss, in all its varied forms, requires that we deal with our emotions. When we are emotionally vulnerable we can find a deeper meaning to life and acquire new and lasting friendships where we initially saw hurt and sorrow. Every loss carries a benefit, even if it takes years to uncover. Letting go emerges as grief and loss' primary lesson.